As we approach Xmas and the season of gifts, I’m reminded of a comment made by a man I spoke recently. He talked about self-worth “as the most valuable gift I have ever discovered: more precious than anything I could ever be given”.
He meant this literally; not as a mere figure of speech. He went on to detail how self-worth is more precious to him than any relationship, any achievement or any commercial success. He recounted times when the discovery of self-worth enabled him to survive setbacks, to hold on to a sense of purpose and to avoid depression or self-pity.
Seeing self-worth as a gift is illuminating. I’ve spoken to many parents who wish they could gift self-worth to their children. Many of us can think of adults, too, whom we earnestly wish would wake up tomorrow with a new awareness of self-worth. Think of all the attention-seeking and insecurity-conversations this might save!
This has been a year like no other. As we come to the end of it and prepare for the year ahead, why not start by gifting yourself a measure of self-worth? For example…
- By reading “The Self-Worth Safari” and doing some of the practices and exercise, or
- By signing up for Self-Worth Week in February, where an international panel of speakers address self-worth in work, education, relationships, parenting etc.
Many of us know someone who is approaching the year ahead with trepidation. Why not gift them one of the resources above? (If you would like a nice voucher to put in a Xmas card, email Isabel at firstname.lastname@example.org)
Whatever happens in 2021, you will want to be on your side. Your unconditional loyalty to yourself will be invaluable. Your friendship with you is a port in a storm, an unassailable stronghold when under attack, an unlimited fountain of creativity and courage. In the words of Kipling, no matter how severe the winter, “deep roots are not reached by the frost”.
In my personal experience, self-worth is a gift that keeps on giving. The early fruits in my case included swift recovery from loss and setbacks, more energy, a greater sense of lightness and fun. Over the past year, self-worth has helped me with tough decisions, with long periods of being cut off from friends (and home) and provided stability during economic uncertainty and insecurity. I’m still learning how self-worth is transforming relationships: indeed I’m beginning to suspect that there is a whole application of self-worth to friendship / leadership / personal relationships, that I’m only beginning to discover.
To whom can you give the gift of self-worth this Xmas?